Lipstick Cover-Up

I read a lot of other people's posts yesterday and I didn't post one of my own. I was just very sad. I was grateful and proud of the people that worked and fought so hard to save others 5 years ago, for the bravery that they and all those who perished showed in the face of terror.

It was a very cool overcast dreary day here in Virginia yesterday, and 5 years ago it was a gorgeous morning. One of the men I worked with had just retired from the military after over 20 years, he worked for JAG. He always had the TV on in his office, silent, but on, watching the ticker line...he hollers out, "Kirsten turn on the TV something horrible is happening in New York I think the US is being attacked" I turn it on, I see the first tower smoking the people running and looking terrified. I pick up the phone and can't reach my husband or my dad, I call my best friend in NYC, he works at the building next door to Tower 1, I get him on the first ring. He's on the ferry looking at the towers, he's late to work and can't believe what he's seeing, then he says, "Oh my Lord, Kirsten there's another plane coming" It hits the other Tower. The ferry stopped after the first plane hit, it started going back to the Jersey side when the second plane hit.

That night my friend had over 40 people, he knew 8 of them, sleeping on the floor and sofas in his one bedroom apartment that was on the marina looking accross at the city. People got on ferries and just came over to the Jersey side with nowhere to stay or sleep. One of his coworkers called and said can I come over, i can't stay here. One turned into 3 into 8, and when he went to meet them at the ferry station, there were friends of his friends just standing around. Nowhere to go, can't reach anyone on cell phones. They all came and stayed at his place. They didn't sleep really he said, just looked out or stayed on the balcony and watched the skyline, watched the smoke, the TV.

I then got on the phone with my father. He was so deeply saddened, enraged, I can't even describe it well but I think you know what I'm saying here. Where we grew up in NY it was a suburb of NYC, lots of cops and firefighters. He talked to friends back home. The next 2 months would bring a long line of funerals of people he was acquainted with, his friend back home kept him posted. I've seen my dad go through a lot. Loss, pain, injury, heartache. But nothing that effected him like 9/11. He was forever different in several ways after that. He made moments count a lot after that. He became much more introspective and more critical of government than I'd ever seen him. He was a patriot, he had served in the Army. He loved his country and its people. He checked in with all of us that day, several times. He told me it would be ok. Every 9/11 since his death I am mixed with so many feelings, about the day, the people who lost their lives, their families, their homes and way of life. And I think about him and I miss him.

I'm grateful for my life, my family, what I am blessed with. I just couldn't write about yesterday, well yesterday. It is just so raw on that day for me. I guess it probably always will be.