Lipstick Cover-Up

Your Hair Should Be Pink

Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun.You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow.

So what is your inner hair color? I must say I was surprised at mine, but I do love PINK

Thanks to Hippi for her guidance on listing my links, I tried the blogroller thing that Cad suggested, but I'm a dork, I have an account there now but have NO IDEA how to use it. So thanks again Hippi, sorry I interrupted your lunch.

Also, if I listed you on my links and you do not want to be there, let me know, they are just a small list of some of the sites I enjoy reading.

Can someone tell me in simple steps, how to post the links to the blogs I like to read on my page? I should know how to do this, but I don't and I figured it would be easier to ask you all then research it and figure it out, you all are the pros right? If you need information of any kind go the the pros in that particular area, that's what my dad always said....

So tell me please.

Other matters: Isabel is back to herself, sleeping happily through the night, taking her naps faithfully for the most part. Who knows, a growth spurt maybe.

I saw a man get chased on foot today by police, the pharmacist and the counter clerk from the local pharmacy, he stole his prescription it looked like. If I ever have to go the way of stealing and theivery, ( I don't think this will happen, I'm not inclined to steal, too scary, and prison would not agree with my delicate constitution) I will make sure to do it when this officer is on duty. The pharmacist and counter clerk were running way ahead of him and they look back and yell, "Come on, he's getting away!" The pharmacist was a fast person, she was on his tail quick, the counter clerk wasn't a "runner" but she was holding her own. The poor police man was staggering. Now I'm not knocking police people in general, that is husband's profession before early retirement to be stay at home dad, but they have exercise facilities at the precincts for a reason.

Update on the friend of husband's that had the unfortunate "video tape" incident as described in a previous post, he's not talking to us anymore. Don't know why, don't really care why. I have a finite amount of time here and I choose to spend it wisely, doing things that make me happy with my kids, my husband, my family and friends. People that like me for me, not what they want from me. I can't pick my crazy family God love them, but I can pick my friends.

Anyone ever see Willie Nelson in concert? If so, how was it? I only know "mama don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys" and am not all that familiar with the genre as a whole, any insights here are welcomed.

I've spoken before about my job, how I truly love what I do and where and with whom I work. I had my review, and the boss agrees, YIPEE!! It went very well, I was very surprised, happy, relieved and grateful. Knowing you are appreciated is a great thing, employees everywhere should always be so fortunate. This has taken a real load off, we've been hanging on and getting by, but we've been worried. The choice we came too having him stay home with the kids really makes the most sense whichever way we looked at it for so many reasons. Now it's ok, our choice will work out.

Hope everyone in bloggyland is having a great day!

I should've mentioned that yesterday. Isabel has never had any trouble sleeping, like I said she's been sleeping through the night since about 6 weeks old, except when she was sick with fever, but that's true for all my kids.

So last night we were worried, but guess what. I put her down in her crib AWAKE, and she fell asleep, ON HER OWN, no crying. We do use soft music, it times out after 10 or 15 minutes I think. She didn't wake up till 6:45 am to eat. I should add that yesterday she did get both of her naps in, good naps, and we didn't put her down as early as we had been. Kept her up an extra 45 minutes or so. Hubby did some research I guess and felt these would be good things to try. She's always taken naps, but in the past week her schedule has been off. I know it's not a pattern yet, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed for tonight.

On another note, my dear mother came over tonight with her new husband. Try as they might, they just don't really like us. I said as much. The response was, "Oh, don't be silly, he likes you all just fine" *this was out of his presence, and she was trying so hard to convince me, so I know he doesn't really like us but does want there to be a level of comfort*for my mother's sake I think* She brought boxes of her hand me downs, bowls, cannister set, draperies, various items that she thought I could use, then she brought the DAD box.

My father, if you don't already know, died in February of 2004. We were all very close to him, it was a long dying process. He had lupus, heart and lung disease, and lastly lung cancer. He was in hospice, and his death and dying never defined who he was.

Well the DAD box consisted of items of his. Mugs I had given him, hats I had given him (he loved baseball hats, and some very stylish hats as well), he was a huge NY Giants fan, season ticket holder all my life, we are all fans to this day. Well, he went to the SuperBowls when they were in them and would get the plaque of the team at the end of the winning seasons, well this plaque was in the BOX. One of the hats was his favorite, BG knows the one, it's in the picture she swiped from mom's house, the USS Connolly hat that he had on in the wedding shot. (That was the ship my brother in law was on when he was in the Navy). Lots of little treasures for me, for my family, but I guess I had a look on my face. Mother says, "Well I kept a couple of his hats, they are mine and that's it, MINE, but I have no use for all this stuff, I don't want to just keep it all in a box, thought you all might have a use for some of it." I understand, I do, BUT, there are things I just keep in a box. They don't have any implied USE, they just are. They are little memories. We all have them I thought, we all keep things like this, I thought. Maybe she just can't anymore, maybe it's just too much for her. I know she has items like this of my sister's, a large chest of drawings and sketches that she'd done. Cards and notes she'd written, pictures, etc. They don't have a use they just are.

I want to understand my mother, I just don't. She's experienced more loss in her life than I, and I hope I never have to, the loss of 2 husbands, the death of a child. There is only so much one can bear I guess. She has faith, I think it guides her, but I think also for her now her life is more about survival, finding happiness, or what she perceives as such, for the remainder of her days. I think she's giving up a lot to go down the road she's chosen, but for her it must make sense. I just miss who she used to be. I see flashes of it, and I have good times, moments really, with her. I want to be able to accept things the way they are. I'm just having a hard time doing it. My new tactic will be to try and let it go, let go of the worry and concern and just to be when I'm with her. If she needs me she knows where I am and my door is always open.

The baby has it. That's what the doc said to hubby this morning when he took her in for what we thought must just HAVE to be another round of ear infections. She was up nearly every hour on the hour on Sat and Sunday nights, and she's been sleeping through the night since she's 6 weeks old, until now of course. No fever, no stuffy nose, so we thought maybe just no symptoms, (I know it sounds so dumb now that I write it out, but we believed it in our state of sleep deprivation).

We need to start letting her "cry it out", now I didn't do this with my first 2 children, they were both sick as you may have read on earlier posts, they never cried it out. Isabel is healthy, I should be able to do this, but I know I won't or can't or both I guess. I've never been a fan of the "method" as I've read it over the years. I will try my best. We will try. We more than likely will fail miserably at this, but we'll try. Any suggestions are welcome on this one, or just some moral support will do to.

Now hubby and I have separation anxiety of our own, the separation from our nightly sleep is causing a good bit of anxiety on our part, will we ever sleep again? yes, i'm sure we will. Right?

It's not like she's an infant so much anymore, we're not literally up every 2-3 hours feeding for 30 minutes at a time, I know I'll try not to whine anymore. I'm just so tired.....

So they DID NOT fire the woman who throws basketballs at young children's heads and laughs, nope, when the director told my friend and her child, "I've taken care of her, you won't have to worry about her ANYMORE" What she meant was, I told the girl to keep her trap shut and not abuse the children so overtly any longer, she'll just do it in a nice quiet way that the kids won't be sure about for the rest of the summer.

I feel so badly for my friend. She can afford this program, she cannot afford most of the others in our area. She HAS to work, so does her husband. Her family is not local. Her inlaws are going to take her daughter for a week out to thier farm, her child loves these visits, they have a week of vacation in July and she's going to see if she can borrow some funds from her parents to help her afford the other summer programs in our area. I offered hubby's stay at home dad services, she could go to the gym and pool and picnics with him and my kids, they just play a lot in the yard and stuff, but he doesn't throw things at them, or ridicule them, and he's a good cook too!

She's going to complain more to higher ups, but she thinks it's futile. She said when she arrived there today and saw the woman and saw the smirk that she gave her her heart sank. Her daughter looked at her in dismay like, "mommy, I thought you took care of this?" Now she feels like she's failed her child. And she had to leave her there today. The crusher I thought was that the idiot counselor is STILL heading the group of these kids. UNSUPERVISED. They didn't even reassign her to a different group of children...all the kids were wide eyed this morning she said when they saw she was back.

I just don't understand. It sucks.

I've recently read some very funny things about miscommunication, here's onehttp://signgurl.blogspot.com/2006/06/he-said-she-said.html, I thought that was so funny, thank you Sign Girl for sharing it. I've read some not so funny items as well, downright sad in fact. People who fail to speak to eachother in marriage, friends who let friendships fade for reasons they don't remember, parents who don't talk to their kids, etc., you get the picture.

Well, a friend of mine told me yesterday that her daughter (6 years old) she's a friend of my Green Bean, well this child told her mom on Monday night that she no longer wanted to go to the summer program she's been attending. That was it, wasn't going anymore and that she'd go to work with mom and dad for the rest of the summer or she could spend time at Green Beans house since his daddy stays at home. WHY???? I'm so happy the mom prodded the child as to why, well you see one of the "counselors" really does NOT like kids apparantly. She likes to kick their toys when she's in charge of the small group of K-1st graders, bounce the basketballs off of their heads b/c it's funny she said, likes to tell the kids to shut up b/c they are annoying or ugly or useless. Well this kid just wasn't going to have it anymore, she told the counselor she was going to "tell on her", to which the young woman said, "I don't care, go ahead, they won't believe you!"

Well, she told her mom and proceeded to tell her mother the following (this is from the email she sent to me, names are changed)

" She said she didn’t care, then turned around and wrote my 6 year old an apology note for being mean, gave her the phone number and address and told her to come play. Then in the next breath told her she didn’t want to look at her or be around her, daughter told her good she didn’t want to be near her either and she couldn’t wait for her to get in trouble. This woman is crazy!! The program boss is off for the week and mean counselor lady wasn’t there yesterday when I picked her up. Tomorrow I’m going to talk to Name of person who is next in line after Boss lady and I know he thinks a lot of daughter. What a mess!!! I really think something is wrong with this woman! She told daughter that she knows exactly where she lives because her sister lives on street next to ours and she has been by our house. I think she gave daughter her phone number to try to bate me into calling her, so she could pretend that we were picking on her. Believe me I really do want to call her and tell her what for! Daughter was really enjoying the program too and now this crazy b_ _ ch has to ruin it! "

WHAT!!! Well I told her not to wait another second, to call now, call and talk to someone right now, that crazy woman could be doing the same or worse to some other little kid who maybe doesn't talk to their parents so well. She did.

CRAZY B===CH WAS FIRED YESTERDAY!!! There had been several complaints, SEVERAL. So last night my friend, who's phone number is listed gets several "WRONG NUMBER" calls late at night, with giggling in the backround. Idiots.

All this makes me happy that so far my kids talk a lot to me, they tell me about their days and I ask them how they are, we talk a lot, too much some might say. And we're pretty frank and honest about things. We've had some no holds barred talks for their ages I think, they are curious little buggers, but hubby and I will always be honest with them we've said. Sometimes it's hard, but in the long run I hope it helps them. That or I'm totally scarring them for life!

Anyone else have some good communication or miscommunication stories?

I have a bloggy friend, you all have this friend too. This friend is having a very hard time right now with life, marriage especially. I just wanted to take a second and let this friend know that they are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm hoping that clarity comes this friends way, that self-doubt and self-loathing exit their thinking, and that they find the courage to do what they know they need to for themself and children. This road may not be fun, but we are thinking of this friend with much kindness and love.

Friend, you can do it!

Yes, she is a crazy person, and there have been moments where I think she's a nice woman, down on her luck, a bit unfocused, hard to understand at times, but nice enough.

I don't think that today. She (let's call her TIS, for Thorn in Side) worked at my parent's home for a couple of years, she cleans businesses too and homes of others that I know. Well with my mother's impending move after marriage to her McMansion, she is getting rid of a lot, most, ok almost all of her furniture and decorations and dishes, and draperies, and towels, pots, pans, shoes, clothes, and even the contents of her liquor cabinet. That's right, she'll be replacing it all with new better versions all on the AC's expense account. At least she gets to shop in this deal she calls a marriage. Back to TIS, she wanted a lot, most of what my mother was getting rid of, and my mother is giving it away. Many of the items have been in my family for a long time, grandma's dressers, dining room set that my father bought and I love, china and silver from her wedding...stuff like that. Well naturally mother offered them to her kids first, and we've all thanked her for the items. It's nice to feel like I have a real piece of my childhood and as an extension, a piece of my dad and the memories of him in these items.

Well, TIS was mad. She told me so. She called me at work to let me know that I got a few things she really wanted. She understands but she had her heart set on it. "Since you gots your momma's stuff, I was thinking I could get your stuff that you're replacing it with" HUH?

She wants my stuff now since my "momma" is giving her the shaft, which she isn't but that was the point of her call. My mother did give her many items, linens, lamps, and a couple of dressers that I just didn't have a place for. My mother gave a lot to her church for their "annual sale", and she gave items to me and my sisters as well. Mother said that she felt uncomfortable giving anything else to TIS b/c when they came to get the previous items they just tossed it all around, rifled through it like yesterday's trash she said. It just made her feel uncomfortable she said, especially when TIS said "THAT IT?"

I kindly told TIS that my husband had already arranged for our items to go to a friend of his who is recently divorced, father of 5 and mom has left and taken all their items. But she was kind enough to leave him with the 5 children. So he's now a single father, one income, he's sold the home and downsized to save but needed furniture. We've passed it along. It was in good shape, not old or dilapidated, but I was so excited about the "new" items from my parents house. TIS responds that she doesn't have it as bad as that but she sort of feels like she's owed something since my mother didn't give her what she thought she was going to get. Got that folks. She's owed something b/c of my mother, so figures she can get it from me.

I was trying not to laugh (or yell), she said my mother was an "Indian Giver", welcome back to kindergarten folks, you heard me right an Indian giver.

I thanked her for the call and wished her well and hung up.

CRAZY

I won't be posting over the weekend and wanted to send a Happy Father's day out to all the Dads.

I will celebrate for my husband and my brother's in law, all wonderful fathers, me and my sisters are blessed I know.

I will miss my Daddy. We were so very blessed to have him. I know he watches over us and I hope we still make him proud. He was a strong and gentle man. He loved us, he believed in us, and he was always there for us. He protected, encouraged, and disciplined. He was the funniest man I've ever known, probably ever will know. He had a very hard life growing up but we only knew his love.

I thank him every day.

Hubby and I were talking last night and as we do tried to temper the good with the bad, the sad with the happy. We made lists for eachother, the 5 Best Moments and 5 Worst Moments. We shared the worst first and the best second. We had a lot of the same things. I'm very grateful for him, he's a great husband and father.

5 Worst Moments: (these are chonological, they weren't weighted)

- Day my sister died
- Day Husband was diagnosed with cancer
- Day Daughter was diagnosed with cancer
- Day Son was diagnosed with heart disease
- Day my Dad died

5 Best Moments:

- Day I got married
- Days I had each of my 3 kids, so that counts for 3
- Any of my family vacation days, (hubby said that wasn't fair, but I just can't pick one!)

I felt better after we spoke, I was feeling kind of sad before hand.

I wish I could say that good things have come from all the things above, and mostly that's true, except for my father dying. Nothing good has come of that for me. I will always miss him, always feel like something is missing. Thanks to my sisters who make this bearable, thanks to my children for making me smile and love life, thanks to my husband for showing me the kind of unconditional non-judgemental love that I got from my Dad as well.

I'm happy today and I feel good about this weekend. Reminding myself of all the things I am thankful for is a comforting thing for me.

That's how I feel about my mom right now, no other way around it. Just have to get through it, I wouldn't be so hurt if I didn't love her so much ya know, but it is what it is. She let the AC yell at my kids AGAIN, I just told them, "time to go kids" and we tromped out to the minivan, baby in my arms.
She said he was sorry he was just grouchy, WHATEVER, he's always grouchy, he makes Oscar the Grouch look like a kitten for pete's sake!

As we are driving away, my son says, "Jeez, we get yelled at and we didn't even do anything, just like you said, we didn't SAY ANYTHING and he still yelled at us for NOTHING" My oldest added, "Yeah, this SUCKS" What could I say, yes it sucks, your grandma is a fool with this man, and he's an ass.

I just told them they were very well behaved, they make me proud everyday.

I needed her help and that sucks too, I had to ask her for help. Thankfully it went well, my hubby had some court date from before he retired, these crooks take forever to come to trial. Anyhow, it got moved from last week to this week and the sitter is at BEACH WEEK, did you ever have a beach week, mhist o crity,I never had a beach week!...well no sitter, I'm working, the kids are NOT going to court with him...so newly retired grandma came to spend the morning and afternoon with them. They had a great time they said, she was by herself..the older kids both needed naps they were so tired, son said, "I'm exhausted, we played a lot and giggled" That's good, sad that it only happens when she's ALONE but good that it still happens. It's not so much about me, my kids, they miss her they want to see her, and she just isn't the same, I don't understand it all, how are they supposed to get her?


Tomorrow will be better, I won't feel so hurt anymore then I guess. I need to be resilient like the kids I guess.

Thanks for listening, I'm feeling better already.

Blogger sucks, all day yesterday I was trying to put up my post wedding post to NO avail, and now it is GONE.....so it goes.

"I can't believe you are doing this." Those words and a headshake were the last things I said to my mother before she walked down the aisle, she just looked at me and said, "What, oh, I know, me too, isn't it neat" She is a freak. My son and nephew walked her down the aisle but Green Bean would not put her hand in the AC's hand, he just turned, looked at his cousin and said, "let's sitdown" He was mad that they didn't do the "speak now" part, he looked at me from accross the aisle and mouthed, "Momma, he's not saying it?!?" In the very typical loud whisper of a 6 year old boy, I know I mouthed back, SHHH. I got to do a reading, yipee!! The love is patient, love is kind one, you've heard it if you've ever been to a church wedding I imagine, but do you remember the good parts,

Love is patient, Love is kind,It does not envy, it does not boast,It is not proud, It is not rude,It is not self-seeking,It is not easily angered,It keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil,but rejoices with the truth.Love always protects, always trusts,always hopes, always perseveres.Love bears all things, believes all things,hopes all things, endures all things.Love never ends.L o v e N e v e r F a i l s.

This is most of it, there's a bit more, but that's the just of it. Notice the IS NOT items, well I emphasized them, I was eloquent I'm told, I hit the words well, looked up at the right times, those public speaking classes and experiences really came in handy at the event. I'm sure my Daddy was proud of me, I was polite too. I didn't say a WORD to the AC all day, not one, because I had nothing to say. Props to me, pat on the back, I get a star.

I met lots of people who are of a like mind and thinking as me and my sisters, but they say they are supporting my mother so she knows she has somewhere to go when this falls apart. It was so interesting to me, all these "friends" agree with us, they think he's an ass, but they want her to know she's loved. They say they've told her how they feel and she just smiles and either stops talking to them for a while or ignores it. There is one woman imparticular, she said to me, "I told your mother any man that wants you to change your life for him is not worth it, I did that I told her and where did it leave me, divorced and penniless, thank God I had time to turn it around." She had to work very hard to regain a relationship with her daughter after that she said, and now her daughter has done the same thing, and is miserable and about to divorce and be penniless until she can get a new job and start rebuilding her life too. It was rough, it was a good realization, I'm sad for my mother, I don't want her to go through this, and I know her, she's a very prideful woman, I fear she'd stay even when it gets bad just to prove everyone else wrong, with any luck he'll die by then and she won't have to worry about it.

She's getting rid of all her furniture, moves out of her house that she just sold in 3 weeks, into the new McMansion with the AC. She wasn't planning on retiring yet but did just over a month ago b/c he wanted her too, so he'd have more time with her. I think he loves his handiwork, the wedge he's driven, though he'd deny it to any askers, he has and he revels in it, you can see it in the wicked smile he gets when he interuppts our conversations, "Excuse me Kir, but I need my princess now" and takes her away mid sentence, disgusting.

I don't like having all this negativity in me, it's just ugly and I don't like it, so I've flushed it all out, I have to focus on the good things, and choose better than she. It's a sad day when you figure out that your parents aren't as wise as you thought, they are after all just people like me, who make mistakes and screw up, but unlike me, she apparantly doesn't learn from these experiences, just digs her hole deeper. I'll be here for her when it all crumbles. She's my mom and I love her.

So no real fire works, sorry to disappoint. The kids were great. Me and my other sister Kathy got nice and drunk at the reception, it was fun, don't get to do that often, and we said a toast to our MOTHER, and only to her, we told her we loved her and would always be there for her and that we only wanted her happiness, now and always. Notice we didn't address her new spouse or the existence of him it was obvious I'm certain, but that's all the nice things we had to say really. I met some of the AC's family, his nieces, whom he spends little time with, were actually very very nice, we got on very well together. One is married with a 2 month old, very nice husband, and adorable son, we had a lot to talk about. The other is single, her boyfriend was very nice, they left before the reception finished sadly, they were nice, but had a long drive ahead of them to get back home.

I had a great time the whole weekend with my sister and her family. We grilled out at my house, laughed a lot, drank too much, and laughed some more. I love having my sisters come up and spend time at my home, it's not much too look at but it is filled with a lot of love. We have a good time.

A quick shout out to my friend Bill, though I wish there were more juicy items of interest for you to read, I hope you enjoy my bloggy anyway.

Oh, remember the couple I told you all about who let out there "tape" of their recorded love by "Accident", me thinks it wasn't so much an accident any more. Hubby was at the gym with him and he says to hubby, "So are you and lil'sis into that?" "Into What?", "Ya know, taping, cuz we could swap some tapes, it'd be cool to see you all in action" Hubby says, "WTF did you just say to me?!?" "Oh, just kidding, I didn't think so, I was just kidding"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

too much for me kids, I can't take any of that. see us in "action", too gross, I don't want to see me in action for pete's sake, too odd for words, the rest of the workout was subdued he said, he couldn't wait to get out of there.

I posted not long ago about my job, and I don't want anyone to think incorrectly here, so I thought I'd just clarify a few things. I love my job, I love the guys I work with, just 2 of them and they are good people. I get along with them both well I think, we have lots to talk about, we work, they are both very funny and 2 of the smartest men I know thankfully. The stress that I do have at my job, is not frequent, and is not a lot, as jobs go, I hit the jackpot. I attribute this to 7 long years in job hell with the Wicked Witch, I was due a break after cleaning up after her shit, both literally and figuratively. I know I'm lucky and blessed, but somedays just don't go your way sometimes, you know the days, and everything just is crappy, tomorrow can't come soon enough on those days. There are days where I feel like I don't make much of a difference, in the grand scheme of things a monkey could do what I do most days, and they'd have to pay the monkey a lot less. I've always felt I need to make a contribution, the greater good. Somedays I feel like I don't do that and it bugs me. Most days, I'm ok with where I'm at, my difference will be with my children I guess, raising them right, doing good with what I'm given.

I'll try and be a better blogger, I've been neglecting my posting and also, I'm told there is some blogger etiquitte about replying to messages posted in my comments, I'll try and do better, but I do love comments, knowing I'm not talking to the air out there is nice.

lots of love to all of you in bloggy land!

-lil'sis

Yes, that's right, the wedding is tomorrow, shuddering at the thought.

Dear mother calls me today to see what time I'll be at her house tonight for her "pre-wedding dinner party", I tell her I get off work at 4:30 and will go home first then out to her place....WHWHWHAT!!??? she asks, You're not taking off early for MY wedding weekend!

Now, it's a "wedding weekend", not just a "wedding day", these events must trump everything else that goes on in life you see. I tell her as politely as possible, that no, the boss man is traveling, I need to be at the office the WHOLE day today, things to do, all that fun stuff, holding down the fort so to speak. She is incredulous, then she's feigning that she's actually hurt, Well as soon as you get home change and come out right away, I'd think you'd want to show how happy you are for us by being there to help greet people.

She's off her rocker I tell ya. If I show up with cammo on and guns strapped over my body would that be too much, maybe not the best way to greet my "new FAMILY" members. How about some food, I could bring some food that .....oh I can't do that it's against the law. Maybe I can talk really funny, tell them when they ask what I do for a living that I breed animals for medical research or something really nice like that, now that's not nice either, and I'd never do it, maybe just suddenly develop a nervous twitch or something that causes me to hit people, that wouldn't be too bad, I know I'm over reacting here. In the grand scheme of things this is so small potatoes really, it's just a wedding, a little party, smile be cordial, I can fake it, most woman can right at one time or another we're all pressed into faking it for the greater good.

My kids like Japanese food, they love the hibachi grill where they'll cook in front of you, when we go to these places, you always get some strangers seated at your grill unless you have a huge party of people. My dear hubby said to the family that the best way to deal with this event is to pretend where just at one big hibachi party, minus the good sushi, and be nice and cordial to the folks, even the ac, just like we would strangers at the hibachi. Strangers that we'll never see again hopefully, just be friendly and when dinner is done, we're on our way. I think it'll work, NOT!

My son asked us if they really do ask the "speak now..." question, we explained it's just rhetorical really, and they probably won't ask it this go around, too many takers I'm sure. In the back of my mind though I still have that nagging thought that he's going to pipe up and say something, or maybe he'll just burp or fart then, he likes doing that too!

The point of all of this is what really, that my mother is a very selfish woman, any and everytime you talk to her it's all about her, so this is just a weekend where she thinks she's allowed more so than usual to be overly self absorbed, because after all it is "HER WEEKEND".

On a happier note, happy birthday to my dearest baby buddha, I'll miss seeing him this weekend, his rosy cheeks and red hair, walking around with him and showing him butterflies. Enjoy your 1st birthday and know that we'd all rather be celebrating with you and in our hearts and minds, that's right where we'll be!

Lots of people, (by that I mean the few I actually know) think my job is just cake, so easy, good money, great boss...well it's not always SOOO friggin' easy, and not always soOOOOOOmuch fun either. Working with millionaires when your not one of them is not always a blast, sometimes it sucks. Today for instance....I think I'm the only one of the 3 of us here, no I KNOW I am the only one that NEEDS her payroll to enter her account exactly when it's supposed to, I DO live paycheck to paycheck, especially since hubby had to medically retire right before we had baby #3 in November. He is a wonderful stay at home daddy to all 3, but the change in salary for the family has created pressure let's say. And the long gone "savings account" was such a luxury when it existed, now it is just a playful memory. I can do TIGHT, I can be Frugal....but I must have the payroll arrive on time. I spent this morning with the banks and wiring funds so monies would arrive where they needed to. I called in favors from other assistants to make this happen, I owe one guy lunch and another lady coffee. Small prices to pay to keep the homefires payed for I guess. They are nice folks so they'll probably forgive the favor callin and let me off without doing lunch or coffee. Right now I need a drink, a long smooth swig of wine would do me, I've never been one for liquor anyhow, but I guess that could help too.

I hate panic mode, I don't care for "Oh shit" moments, they stress me.

All is better now, I must let it go.

About dear mother's nuptuals this weekend, now I have a dinner on Friday to attend to meet and greet and be cordial to and diffuse any tension at or with the new "other half" of the newly made Instant Family- I don't want anymore family. I'm overloaded with what I've got already thank you very much. Then we have said wedding on Saturday, I can only hope for lightening to strke the ac down when he enters the church to which he is not a member and does not believe in. Then the horrid reception, where I'll have to keep all the children from running around like crazies even though they should be able to play with their cousins and have fun on a weekend summer like day and do fun cousin things, no they'll have to pretend to me quiet, seen and not heard children ALL DAMN DAY, now she want everyone back to her house after the reception , TO HAVE FUN TOGETHER, WTF! I don't want that, I want to go to my home with my sister and brother in law and my kids and hubby and grill and drink wine and laugh a little, or cry as the occaision might call for it.

NOW, too she's added a SUNDAY breakfast, to CELBRATE again. She is so MEMEMEMEMEMe, I can't take it anymore, she said to me when I told her I couldn't do all of it, "Well I just thought that I don't get married every day, maybe my children would actually want to share this with me. " I wanted to point out that this will indeed be her 3rd marriage so she does do it more often then most folks I know, maybe I'll be more inclined to enjoy the 4th one though, I didn't say it, I'm not heartless. I told her I'd do my best, but couldn't commit the entire family to all these functions.

My oldest is sick, maybe strep, I'll find out at 3 today, she feels horrid and is missing all the fun times at the last week of school, she's bummed. I think the baby is getting "the illness" now, she was up so much the last 2 nights and she has so rarely done that, so I'm worried. My son is now the most outspoken 6 and a half year old I know and I think when they priest says, "speak now...." he most likely will have a few words to add!

So this Saturday at around 11 am eastern standard time, if you're inclined to such things, please do say a little prayer or send some good karma my way, I'm sure I'll get through it just fine, but good thoughts coming my way can only help! I need strength to guard of the negative beast that wants to pop out and kill someone at the ceremony. On Sunday, if you read of a woman killing her soon to be step father at a wedding, it's me and you can send money to my defense fund care of Buddha Girl!

Lots of love,
lil'sis

You're Anna Karenina of Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy!



Stupid code won't post, damn, damn, damn


I was surprised I must say, I think my romantic side carried the day on the quiz!

Love a good romance, how about you? Tell me your favorite romance for summer reading, I'm starting a list!