I'm not easy
Not what you think, I mean I can be very difficult somedays. My PMS is roaring, I feel like I'm trying to cage a velociraptor (sp?) these past few days, it's tough. I told hubby last night, "Honey, I'm so cranky, so tense, bitchy, I'm really sorry, I'm trying to keep it all in check, but sometimes...." Well he was great, rising to the occaision to let me know, "Babe, take a look at the calendar, I think you're "due" soon right" Oh the shame, I am a victim of my hormones once AGAIN. I was close to going bonkers on Sunday afternoon and my oldest comes in and says, "Momma, you calming down in here?" I was at the kitchen sink, where it seems I spend more waking hours than most other places since our dishwasher broke, IN FEBRUARY!!, I told her probably I wasn't calming down yet, why, she says in a beautifully clear voice (now this is key here because Loud Girl has a bit of a speech delay part of the after effects of her chemotherapy) "When I'm upset I tell myself to Breathe momma, you taught me that, so just breathe ok, you'll feel better"
Love this kid! love her love her love her. Perspective is oh so important for me. When I feel like shit and I feel like my life has so many issues, I have to just say perspective to myself. Turn on CNN, my life could be so much worse! Reminding myself of this is a must, I could be in Iraq, or God Forbid, IRAN, OR EVEN WORSE, Super WALMART!!!
There are just times it's hard and I need a good yank back to reality, and my Emmy did that for me, B-R-E-A-T-H-E. A bloggy friend is having a hard time, I say to him, Breathe. You can do it, there will be better days, there is a silver lining. You are a good person...breathe.
The Big Dance is going on now, or Road to the Final Four, ya know, the NCAA tourney, this has always been a big deal in my family, always. The first week of the tourney is by far the best practically 15 hours straight for 2 solid days nothing but college ball. Don't ask my why it's great it just is. For many years I've shared this with my sisters and mostly my Daddy. We'd talk on the phone, I'd call him from work for updates, he'd call me with the days upsets and big plays. I miss him so much, but during the Dance his absence is piercing. For most of my life and especially the past 10 years I talked to my dad several times a day, everyday, I ate breakfast with him, would meet him for lunch, we'd do shopping together at the grocery. He was the one I'd call to tell everything, I got a raise, I got a bonus, I got a broken heart, my daughter has cancer, my baby is sick, me and hubby had an argument, I'd share everything with him. He was all this to my husband as well. My hubby comes from a broken home, he didn't know what family was until he came in to mine. My daddy was his dad in so many ways. His confidant, his friend, counselor, golfing buddy. Thinking of you Daddy, raising a steaming cup of java and thinking of you, always rooting for the Cinderella team. Go GEORGE MASON!
Lots of love,
Lil'sis
Love this kid! love her love her love her. Perspective is oh so important for me. When I feel like shit and I feel like my life has so many issues, I have to just say perspective to myself. Turn on CNN, my life could be so much worse! Reminding myself of this is a must, I could be in Iraq, or God Forbid, IRAN, OR EVEN WORSE, Super WALMART!!!
There are just times it's hard and I need a good yank back to reality, and my Emmy did that for me, B-R-E-A-T-H-E. A bloggy friend is having a hard time, I say to him, Breathe. You can do it, there will be better days, there is a silver lining. You are a good person...breathe.
The Big Dance is going on now, or Road to the Final Four, ya know, the NCAA tourney, this has always been a big deal in my family, always. The first week of the tourney is by far the best practically 15 hours straight for 2 solid days nothing but college ball. Don't ask my why it's great it just is. For many years I've shared this with my sisters and mostly my Daddy. We'd talk on the phone, I'd call him from work for updates, he'd call me with the days upsets and big plays. I miss him so much, but during the Dance his absence is piercing. For most of my life and especially the past 10 years I talked to my dad several times a day, everyday, I ate breakfast with him, would meet him for lunch, we'd do shopping together at the grocery. He was the one I'd call to tell everything, I got a raise, I got a bonus, I got a broken heart, my daughter has cancer, my baby is sick, me and hubby had an argument, I'd share everything with him. He was all this to my husband as well. My hubby comes from a broken home, he didn't know what family was until he came in to mine. My daddy was his dad in so many ways. His confidant, his friend, counselor, golfing buddy. Thinking of you Daddy, raising a steaming cup of java and thinking of you, always rooting for the Cinderella team. Go GEORGE MASON!
Lots of love,
Lil'sis
Well fuck me. That did it, sis.
I'm in tears. They're streaming down my face. When Mason won all I could think of was Big Bob. He would have loved that fucking win over UConn.
I've already decided that Buddha will be a Dance Fan as well. He loved hanging out with me this weekend while watching all the teeny guy run all over the tv screen. He doesn't exactly have the staying power to watch more than a few seconds at a time, but he's getting there.
Give Loud Girl a hug for me. She's learned a hell of a lot more than anyone would think.
Breathe.
one day i sat down for lunch and complained because my Dad had phoned me YET AGAIN on some matter or other that he was hot and bothered about (he's retired)
my friend said
"I wish my Dad could call me sometime"
made me think
[hug]