Lipstick Cover-Up

Ok, so Fear, what does it mean to each of us, something a bit different I'm sure, but for every parent at the top of fear inducing situations is losing a child, not knowing where your child is, who has them, the horrible things that could happen if your child gets snatched...well yesterday I had 30 minutes of unadulterated FEAR. My son, who is 6, GreenBean, well he was lost...he was supposed to be at after school with his sister Doodlegirl who is 7, but when I arrive to get THEM, his group teacher says with a smile, "I don't have GreenBean today:)" "WHAT? WHERE IS GB?" i say, ??????, you could see her mind working, I could almost see a little bubble appear above her head with the caption, "Oh Crap, did I lose a kid!!!???!!!" She was stricken I tell you, well the hunt began, we finally decipher that he went home on the bus, the last place he was seen was getting on the "busline", My little Doodle, well she has some anxiety issues already, so she was on the edge now, "WHERE IS GB!?!?!MOMMA?" I've got folks calling transportation, I'm on the horn to my neighbors to see if he's gotten off the bus and come to her house where my other child, Little Bean, 3 months old is going for a few days till hubby comes home, well, no luck, but she's sending her daughter, my sometime babysitter, such a nice girl, senior in high school, to go to other neighbors to look for him....I head to the car and go flying home and call GB's teacher, she is shocked too, WHAT!!! She says she's coming over to help me, she is one of the very few peeps outside of family that I've told the truth too about where hubby is and that was very hard, she is a wonderful woman, whom I trust and respect a great deal,,,,,Neighbor girl calls my cell, GB is not in the house, but the door is open wide and his backpack is lying on the front stoop!!!! Blood pressure rising, fear is high, I fly in the driveway and see neighbor girl asking folks, and my one neighbor, we'll call him GN, for gay nurse, is a stay at home dad of 2 girls, well I say, hey GN is GB there? No he says but I saw a MAN pick him up after he got off the bus,,,,WTF!!! then he says, the man had 2 other kids with him oh and it wasn't a car, they were on bicycles, I go in the house and check my machine, sure enough it's Hank from up the block, he's got a little guy Will who is a buddy of GB, well they happened to come by about 20 minutes after the bus dropped off to see if Greenie wanted to ride bikes with them, and when he saw GB weepy and found out no parental units home, he invited him over to play till we got home. THANK YOU LORD! Apparently this exact scenario has happened to Hank with his little guy a couple of months ago in the RAIN, luckily they have a stay at home mom accross the street who noticed and took Will in. I'm now furious at the bus driver, but it'll all work out, I must harbor a good bit of the blame I should have made sure all parties knew what was happening and not relied on the school office to pass along the info, which I've come to find they MISUNDERSTOOD, they thought afterschool was for last week only, not this week as well.

Last night I tell him what a scare I had from all of this, he said he was sorry he forgot where he was supposed to be, he misses his daddy and just wanted to come home. All is good, I hope my child is not scarred with abandonment issues for life, he's a good bean truly, the reason he's called green bean is b/c when he was just over 2 years old, I was plating up dinner, we were having some green beans, well before I put a big old heap on his plate he held up his hand as if to say "STOP", I looked at him he says, "No thanks momma, I'm cuttin' back on the greens", I say, No GB you're cutting back on the chocolate and chippies, "no I decided to cut back on the greens, we have them every day and that's too much you said" see a good bean, and too darn funny for words.

Other things I fear: violent crimes against my family, losing my mind, lonliness when I'm very old, drowning, being stuck in coach for a long flight between sick smelly people, HELL, cockroaches....those are the biggies I guess, hope no one reading this has to deal with FEAR today.