Lipstick Cover-Up

That's right, the FLU, the damned flu. Gabe and Izzy have the flu, Emily is holding on to just a cold, but hasn't had what they have thankfully. I've got a touch of the cough and aches, but no fever like the kids. Then there is my husband.....Geesh, I'M DONE.

Hubby is not moving fluid out of his body, gained 30 pounds of fluid in 12 days now, he's a sight to behold let me tell ya. The doctors in their infinite wisdom don't know what the issue is yet. Doing bloodwork for heart and kidney and endocrine possibilities, tests, tests and more tests. In the meantime he's in pain, his arms and legs keep going numb, he's so bloated, short of breath, feels like CRAP on a stick at best. Did I mention that he's home caring for the kids with the flu while I'm at work too. The poor thing, I'm looking for a nanny or sitter to come in but the kids have the FLU and no one wants to be around kids with the FLU DAMMIT.

It could just be meds, changes in meds, combo of things, who the heck knows. I do know that it is so eerily similar to my father's rapid decline in health. The fluid retention, etc. I don't think it's like my Dad at all, but it's just similar in presentation and that just spooks me to no end.

It was 3 years ago this past Sunday the 18th that my Dad died. I miss him so much, words just don't convey or do the feeling justice. I know many of you have been to this place in your own lives, so you know what I'm saying. It just is yucky.

I want to talk to him, I want advice from him, I want to know that I'm strong enough for all of this stuff, being a wife, mother, friend, caregiver, provider. He always gave me confidence, a quality I find myself lacking too often these days. I need to channel that memory and feel capable I guess. Knowing what you need and finding it are two different things though...keep moving forward that's just what I plan on doing, keep moving forward. Say it with me now, KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

On another note, the Relay for Life event that I'm co-chairing this year is doing a wonderful job, the volunteers never cease to amaze me with their spirit and willingness to just keep asking for donations, keep having bake sales, fundraising events, etc. It's a wonderful event to be a part of truly. I know I've said this before, but here goes again, if you've never been to a Relay before, just go to one would ya! You don't have to be on a team, or raise money to attend. Just call your local American Cancer Society, find out when the Relay will be in your area and when, ask for the schedule of events. Go the Opening Ceremony or the Survivor Lap, YOU HAVE TO GO to the Luminary Ceremony. It's a wonderful community based event. It's fun, all the Relays I've been to have tons of activities, games, events, bands, etc. throughout the day. Our event has a Children's Walk portion which is great. You may catch the Relay bug and want to participate in a future event, or you may just want to attend as a spectator and check it out, either way, it's a wonderful experience.

I'm going to see Billy Joel in concert this weekend with my sisters, I know I've mentioned this before too, but I'm real excited about it. Fingers are crossed that my husband will be doing better and able to take care of all the kids for the night, that or I'll see if I can find a sitter or possibly if they are well farm them out on play dates or sleepovers with friends. Not thinking that'll happen, but I can always hope!

"There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something better tomorrow."-- Orison Marden

Hope you all in bloggy land are well!

Lots of love,
Lil'sis