Lipstick Cover-Up

Blogger sucks, all day yesterday I was trying to put up my post wedding post to NO avail, and now it is GONE.....so it goes.

"I can't believe you are doing this." Those words and a headshake were the last things I said to my mother before she walked down the aisle, she just looked at me and said, "What, oh, I know, me too, isn't it neat" She is a freak. My son and nephew walked her down the aisle but Green Bean would not put her hand in the AC's hand, he just turned, looked at his cousin and said, "let's sitdown" He was mad that they didn't do the "speak now" part, he looked at me from accross the aisle and mouthed, "Momma, he's not saying it?!?" In the very typical loud whisper of a 6 year old boy, I know I mouthed back, SHHH. I got to do a reading, yipee!! The love is patient, love is kind one, you've heard it if you've ever been to a church wedding I imagine, but do you remember the good parts,

Love is patient, Love is kind,It does not envy, it does not boast,It is not proud, It is not rude,It is not self-seeking,It is not easily angered,It keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil,but rejoices with the truth.Love always protects, always trusts,always hopes, always perseveres.Love bears all things, believes all things,hopes all things, endures all things.Love never ends.L o v e N e v e r F a i l s.

This is most of it, there's a bit more, but that's the just of it. Notice the IS NOT items, well I emphasized them, I was eloquent I'm told, I hit the words well, looked up at the right times, those public speaking classes and experiences really came in handy at the event. I'm sure my Daddy was proud of me, I was polite too. I didn't say a WORD to the AC all day, not one, because I had nothing to say. Props to me, pat on the back, I get a star.

I met lots of people who are of a like mind and thinking as me and my sisters, but they say they are supporting my mother so she knows she has somewhere to go when this falls apart. It was so interesting to me, all these "friends" agree with us, they think he's an ass, but they want her to know she's loved. They say they've told her how they feel and she just smiles and either stops talking to them for a while or ignores it. There is one woman imparticular, she said to me, "I told your mother any man that wants you to change your life for him is not worth it, I did that I told her and where did it leave me, divorced and penniless, thank God I had time to turn it around." She had to work very hard to regain a relationship with her daughter after that she said, and now her daughter has done the same thing, and is miserable and about to divorce and be penniless until she can get a new job and start rebuilding her life too. It was rough, it was a good realization, I'm sad for my mother, I don't want her to go through this, and I know her, she's a very prideful woman, I fear she'd stay even when it gets bad just to prove everyone else wrong, with any luck he'll die by then and she won't have to worry about it.

She's getting rid of all her furniture, moves out of her house that she just sold in 3 weeks, into the new McMansion with the AC. She wasn't planning on retiring yet but did just over a month ago b/c he wanted her too, so he'd have more time with her. I think he loves his handiwork, the wedge he's driven, though he'd deny it to any askers, he has and he revels in it, you can see it in the wicked smile he gets when he interuppts our conversations, "Excuse me Kir, but I need my princess now" and takes her away mid sentence, disgusting.

I don't like having all this negativity in me, it's just ugly and I don't like it, so I've flushed it all out, I have to focus on the good things, and choose better than she. It's a sad day when you figure out that your parents aren't as wise as you thought, they are after all just people like me, who make mistakes and screw up, but unlike me, she apparantly doesn't learn from these experiences, just digs her hole deeper. I'll be here for her when it all crumbles. She's my mom and I love her.

So no real fire works, sorry to disappoint. The kids were great. Me and my other sister Kathy got nice and drunk at the reception, it was fun, don't get to do that often, and we said a toast to our MOTHER, and only to her, we told her we loved her and would always be there for her and that we only wanted her happiness, now and always. Notice we didn't address her new spouse or the existence of him it was obvious I'm certain, but that's all the nice things we had to say really. I met some of the AC's family, his nieces, whom he spends little time with, were actually very very nice, we got on very well together. One is married with a 2 month old, very nice husband, and adorable son, we had a lot to talk about. The other is single, her boyfriend was very nice, they left before the reception finished sadly, they were nice, but had a long drive ahead of them to get back home.

I had a great time the whole weekend with my sister and her family. We grilled out at my house, laughed a lot, drank too much, and laughed some more. I love having my sisters come up and spend time at my home, it's not much too look at but it is filled with a lot of love. We have a good time.

A quick shout out to my friend Bill, though I wish there were more juicy items of interest for you to read, I hope you enjoy my bloggy anyway.

Oh, remember the couple I told you all about who let out there "tape" of their recorded love by "Accident", me thinks it wasn't so much an accident any more. Hubby was at the gym with him and he says to hubby, "So are you and lil'sis into that?" "Into What?", "Ya know, taping, cuz we could swap some tapes, it'd be cool to see you all in action" Hubby says, "WTF did you just say to me?!?" "Oh, just kidding, I didn't think so, I was just kidding"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

too much for me kids, I can't take any of that. see us in "action", too gross, I don't want to see me in action for pete's sake, too odd for words, the rest of the workout was subdued he said, he couldn't wait to get out of there.

I posted not long ago about my job, and I don't want anyone to think incorrectly here, so I thought I'd just clarify a few things. I love my job, I love the guys I work with, just 2 of them and they are good people. I get along with them both well I think, we have lots to talk about, we work, they are both very funny and 2 of the smartest men I know thankfully. The stress that I do have at my job, is not frequent, and is not a lot, as jobs go, I hit the jackpot. I attribute this to 7 long years in job hell with the Wicked Witch, I was due a break after cleaning up after her shit, both literally and figuratively. I know I'm lucky and blessed, but somedays just don't go your way sometimes, you know the days, and everything just is crappy, tomorrow can't come soon enough on those days. There are days where I feel like I don't make much of a difference, in the grand scheme of things a monkey could do what I do most days, and they'd have to pay the monkey a lot less. I've always felt I need to make a contribution, the greater good. Somedays I feel like I don't do that and it bugs me. Most days, I'm ok with where I'm at, my difference will be with my children I guess, raising them right, doing good with what I'm given.

I'll try and be a better blogger, I've been neglecting my posting and also, I'm told there is some blogger etiquitte about replying to messages posted in my comments, I'll try and do better, but I do love comments, knowing I'm not talking to the air out there is nice.

lots of love to all of you in bloggy land!

-lil'sis