Just when I thought I was out...
they drag me back in again...just when I thought we were over the hump , it just gets crappy again...I've never really understood depression. I've been sad before, had tough times, but really depressed, I don't think so. I'm not good at this stuff, I'd like to be better, I listen , I hug, I love, am supportive...sometimes it's just not enough I guess. I wish I had the tools, I'm trying to get more help on this, but what's the saying, You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink, I'm trying to "bring the mountain to mohammed" so to speak even.
I'm sure there's a silver lining, I'll find it I'm sure, I'll keep at it, just a little tired.
On to something else, my oldest daughter, 7 going on 18 this April, well she's really coming into her own and has never been one to hold her tongue at home, she speaks her mind to us and I'm glad she does, however, this morning I could have used her practicing some restraint, she didn't want to help her dad do something, it was easy, but she didn't want to help, she was focused on her CD player so she ends up helping by force, and before he had a second to say thank you she jumps in and says, "you're welcome, asshole" nice right...I know she's heard this in lots of places, the schoolbus, TV ( I try but you can't censor everything) and at home in a hushed tone on more than one occaision (again, I try and I think I do a good job of watching what I say, but I'll admit this one has slipped out before) Now I don't think she fully grasped what she was saying nor did she understand the truly fragile nature of her dad right now, she felt very badly began to cry and was sorry, he was very upset, I'm sure I saw a few tears as he turned away, this was tough. She is in general a very good kid, I talked with her tried to convey how these words they hurt, they leave a mark you cannot see that is hard to erase that is why it is so important to mind your words, use them carefully, think before you speak and be honest with herself and others. I hope it was ok, this parenthood thing can be so hard. When I did ask her what made her say it, she said that a big kid said the same thing to someone on the bus the day before and everyone laughed. I told her to sit closer to the front, always good advice I think:)
I'm sure there's a silver lining, I'll find it I'm sure, I'll keep at it, just a little tired.
On to something else, my oldest daughter, 7 going on 18 this April, well she's really coming into her own and has never been one to hold her tongue at home, she speaks her mind to us and I'm glad she does, however, this morning I could have used her practicing some restraint, she didn't want to help her dad do something, it was easy, but she didn't want to help, she was focused on her CD player so she ends up helping by force, and before he had a second to say thank you she jumps in and says, "you're welcome, asshole" nice right...I know she's heard this in lots of places, the schoolbus, TV ( I try but you can't censor everything) and at home in a hushed tone on more than one occaision (again, I try and I think I do a good job of watching what I say, but I'll admit this one has slipped out before) Now I don't think she fully grasped what she was saying nor did she understand the truly fragile nature of her dad right now, she felt very badly began to cry and was sorry, he was very upset, I'm sure I saw a few tears as he turned away, this was tough. She is in general a very good kid, I talked with her tried to convey how these words they hurt, they leave a mark you cannot see that is hard to erase that is why it is so important to mind your words, use them carefully, think before you speak and be honest with herself and others. I hope it was ok, this parenthood thing can be so hard. When I did ask her what made her say it, she said that a big kid said the same thing to someone on the bus the day before and everyone laughed. I told her to sit closer to the front, always good advice I think:)
Honest to God, I'm still laughing at this one.
I know your Husband Guy is in a fragile state right now. I'm gonna give him a good Buddha Girl talk tomorrow. I'll be gentle yet strong. Miss Paradox.
On Loud Girl's curse? Umm I'm just glad she didn't drop an F bomb. Like I told you on the phone: Had she said something along the lines of, "Fuck off," I would have had to take responsibility. Asshole? I don't say that often. I'm off the hook.
*shaking my ass in glee AGAIN*
i feel very strongly for your husband
when i was in the worst part of my fibromyalgia my muscle spasms were so bad i could barely move
i was depressed and physically unable to perform many tasks
my children were thankfully never mean to me about doing things like picking things up, or tossing something into the oven or other lifting and toting
i spent a fair bit of time apologising to them for my infirmity. they were gracious - i am forever grateful
mrs_c was less so...
i understand how your husband must feel
i tried to do as much as i could - and would persist even when i moved terribly slowly
or when i had to lie down for awhile before gathering the strength to do the task
mrs_c would get frustrated very quickly (she's a real do it, and do it now kind of person) with how long it would take me to do things. she would usually do them first, or cut in while i was doing them, because the slow pace would irritate her. she says she was just trying to help and be supportive. i think i just pissed her off. she didn't realise that by doing this she was slowly stripping me of my dignity.
i feel for you
i feel for your husband
it is a difficult place to be.
Hey, Lil Sis! I hope all is good! I thought I would stop by to give you a hug! Gina
Hey Cadbury, Great thoughts!
Lil Sis -
first things first - there is little to nothing you can do to pull hubby out of his depression. other than what you are doing. listen, love, encourage and support. but don't push or pull. it is futile effort.
in spite of what Mr. Cruise believes, serious depression most often requires meds and professional counseling. does hubby guy have both of these?
i have suffered from depression for years. am currently in the process of adjusting my meds. it is a nightmare. i go from day to day with my state of mind - some days good some not so good.
love, patience, understanding, support, more patience.
and blogging - always good therapy - no matter which side of the fence you are on.
and sitting in the front - always good advice on the bus and in church!
HUGS!