Lipstick Cover-Up

Today I had to go to the doctor, I have an infection in my foot, sounds horrible, isn't really, nothing yucky, I got an ingrown toenail after I had the baby, I got one after my first 2 children as well, always the same toe, and it always has just gone away on its own...well my body figured out that since I am NOT having anymore children due to my medical procedure post C-section #3, that it would make it difficult for this to go away on its own. So fast forward to my doctor visit, now I love our Doctor, I call him by his first name, he's only 4 or 5 years older than me, same age as hubby, and I think he's great. His nurses too are great. Well today's nurse, we'll call her "brenda" much older than me, late 50's early 60's, a wonderful sweet woman. She says to me, "I love your shoes, they look so comfy, where did you get them?"

WHOA, JUMP BACK, BRENDA likes my SHOES?!? I must agree they are cute and comfy, but it's rare that Brenda and I would like the same shoes I think judging from the shoes each of us has worn in the past. These are little Birkenstocks, with the covered toe and open back, one buckle on the side, They are ageless shoes I guess and due to my diminished toe condition on that foot were quite necessary today. I told her where to find them, and when she asked how much, etc., different colors, etc. She's going to get a pair, then she says, "Hey next time you see me my feet will look as hip as yours!" I HAVE HIP FEET! Brenda thinks I'm cool, I guess I'm growing up?

Well, maybe a little bit. But I still have nice shoes, and according to big sis Buddha Girl, I'm a "shoe whore" I beg to differ on that point but I do love a good shoe that's no lie.

To all you shoe lovers out there, enjoy the summer sandals just coming out, some real cute ones out there, and a tip, go for comfort, I stopped buying my strappy heels after my second child, much to my chagrin they are not helpful when chasing a toddler down in the park, you will fall, and get muddy and people will stare at you in disbelief and your significant other will laugh at you heartily and so will said toddler. Not that I'm speaking from experience on that little antecdote or anything, but I imagine that would be the case. *wink wink*

Lots of love,
lil'sis

My oldest, Emmy, turns 8 years old today. The memories of the past 8 years have been flooding my head since last night. Where was I , what was I doing, etc. The picture that keeps popping up in my head is my Daddy holding my newborn daughter in his arms at the foot of my bed.

It was a very rough labor, 36 hours, pushed for 4, then a c-section, she was a very big baby by my standards, 10 lbs. 2 ounces, 22 inches of pure love. Her apgar was low, I felt horrible, had an allergic reaction, had blisters all over my stomach and incision and my milk never came in. Starving newborn, bleeding milkless nipples, pain ridden body. And it still ranks as one of the best days of my life. My husband had gone home for a shower and food, my mother was in the hall yelling at the nurses (sidenote, this was before my mother became the selfish selfabsorbed person she is today) for not doing something correctly. You see my mother was an OB-GYN nurse in labor and delivery for over 20 years, she knew right from wrong.

Well, my Daddy was holding Emmy as I drifted in and out, and when ever my eyes fluttered open he'd say, "just you rest now honey, the medicines are working, you just need to rest, me and my little doodle bug here are just fine, close your eyes." For hours he did this, I'd wake when she needed to eat, try and breast feed and pass back out. He's the one that told me I didn't have to breastfeed to be a good mother. Told me those "breastfeeding Nazis" wouldn't be allowed in the room to guilt me anymore. If there was no milk then formula was just fine. This kid had to eat, her bilirubin was through the roof, she needed to EAT and flush it out. I did give her the formula, my boobs thanked me for it, and my stomach started to heal. My Daddy took the guilt I was feeling away.

Last night Emmy asks me if Grandpa knows tomorrow is her birthday even though he's in Heaven. Of course he knows I tell her. He'll send you a big hug and kiss, you'll feel him.

The day Emmy was diagnosed with cancer, the first person I called from our pediatricians office was my Daddy. It was after 5pm on Friday night, my parents were supposed to watch the kids for us, it was our anniversary. I called and said, Daddy you have to meet me at the hospital, they're admitting Emmy, it's either a viral brain infection or cancer and I can't do this I think.

He told me of course I could, it would be fine whatever happened, he'd meet us at the hospital. And he did, he and Mom were waiting for us when we got there. He showed me the strength I didn't think I had. He gave my doodle bug the strength to face her battle with dignity and grace. He and my mom helped us perservere and helped us pay the bills in those rough times when the insurance you expect to be there really doesn't cover much. Through ADD, brain injury, and all the other things that have come and gone for Emmy, my family has made it. More importantly, she has done it. She's one of the strongest kids I know, mentally and physically. She loves with abandon. She speaks her mind all the time. She teaches me patience and gratitude.

Well, today we celebrate Emmy. Her life, her gift of gab (wonder where she got that from), her energy (wish I had half of it), her amazing heart so full of love for all things and acceptance of others. My little girl is 8 and turning into such a beautiful little lady it's hard to bear sometimes, before I blink she'll be off to college probably. Oh how I dread the teen years, they frighten me the thought of them, I hear friends talk of their teens sometimes and I shiver. But if Daddy did it with 4 girls, I can do it with mine too. Doodle bug is doing great Dad, thanks for all your help.

In my father's final weeks of life he told me to take care of my family. Take care of my kids never let them forget for a second that they are loved unconditionally. Even when they argue, even when they are wearing me out, make sure they know I love them no matter what.

I love you Emmy! Always always always. You are my doodle bug and a hero in my eyes!

Happy Birthday.

So good to be back, had a marvelous time the resort was spectacular, good times had by all, the kids especially. We brought the baby to my sister's house (not Buddha girl, Kathy's house, she and her kids had spring break also) for the duration of vacation and we took her 2 kids 8 and 10 yrs old with us and our 2 (ages 6 & 7)...they went to the amusement park every day, this place is great, family friendly, lots of cool things, they swam every day, played golf, did kid activity classes, isn't much they didn't do. They loved the room service too, as did I. Husband got food poisoning on Sunday, our second day there, so I took the four to the amusement park, Busch Gardens, by myself, I don't recommend this for the weak of heart or anyone lacking patience. Also, do not do unless you have some serious money to burn! It was fun though and hubby was all better come Monday morning, I did the room service for dinner on Sunday night, was not going to the restaurant with them after a day of rides, we were all pooped, had the food brought in and then had the bellman come light a fire in our fireplace in the living room, was amazing they all ate and passed out in front of it. The facility was great, a true resort in the old school sense if ya know what I mean...they do it all for you if you want. The people were wonderful, accomodating and really really really nice to children. I don't find this as often as I'd like at highend resorts, some don't want the kiddies around, but not this joint, they were loving the kids!!! Made the vacation just perfect.

One note: On the friday we were leaving, my boss says to me, "hey lil'sis, when was the last time you took a real vacation? usually your time off is for illness, funeral, hospital stays?" In my 4 years here, I've taken ONE real vacation, and it was only 3 days b/c we already had 2 off that week, he knew it. I really have used up my time alotted on illnesses, husband and father, having little bean last year took time, doc appts. for all. It really eats it up. Not a big deal really, we're always so busy I think we don't really notice, and then there's the fact that I LOVE WHAT I DO...I know it's odd, but I really do, I love my job, I love the 2 guys I work with...yep just the 3 of us and no office politics at ALL...somedays coming here is what saves my sanity, many many days in fact. My sisters are always saying, "Are you all hiring anytime?" It is a wonderful job and I am very blessed, well on Friday, bossman says when he comes back from a morning meeting that I should leave early, get a start on my vacation, I say SURE! Then he says he just needs one thing before I go, I say ok, he says, I need to give you this, he hands me an envelope, nondescript, I recognize it as one of his personal very nice stash. My name written on the outside...he says, "just a little something for you and the family, a little 'mad money' do something you wouldn't normally do with it" SHOCK, AWE, SILENCE from me, I can't take it, he insists. He knows that since husband has retired, (medical) we've been managing things much closer than in the past, dollars are more accounted for, and since new baby came, even more so, I'm not complaining here, just saying we've gotten stricter.

I leave work, I'm in the parking garage, I open the envelope, no SHIT, 10 crisp $100 dollar bills, I'm not LYING!!!! I call hubby, I'm in tears amazing, wow, we'll be able to really spoil the kids now!!!!! I'm happy, overwhelmed, I feel very appreciated, I'm a little sad that money is doing this to me, making me feel SO DARN GOOD, but it did and I was feeling it!

It came in handy, we used it, almost all of it, and it was good. Glad to be back, glad to be home in my house, Easter was good, back to work, lots to do, baseball for the kids has started and this year my kids coach says, Your boy has a great arm, good eye for the game and what a swing! I'm proud of him, my hubby looked so inflated when we left, "did you see the line drive he hit!" Loud girl enjoyed herself, she enjoys running the bases, and she like to pick the daisies in the outfield, I could care less, if she's happy, I'm happy.

I know this bloggy was all over the place today, back to work is always overwhelming with the catchup stuff to do, but it's all good. I hope all you bloggy friends are doing well. Enjoy the spring where ever you may be, it's always so short I love it though, things are new, things are looking fresh.

Now if I could just find a way to get mother to dump the antichrist and cancel the june wedding, that would top it off right!

lots of love to anyone out there listening!

-Lil'sis

These are a few of my favorite things. I didn't last 24 hours out in the wild. 23 hours and 30 minutes to be exact from the time we rolled in to the campground till the time we rolled out.

Now, to my credit, we did have fun moments, we enjoyed many of the things that we did. I would not recommend camping to anyone with an infant, just too many things you HAVE to have with you, but to my Little Bean's credit, she fared so much better than the rest of us honestly. She loved the sites, sounds, fresh air, didn't disturb her schedule really at all. She went with the flow. My son, the dear boy, got diarrhea the night we arrived and it only got worse on Saturday, he's 6 and a half, fully potty trained, he just got sick. Somethings you cannot control and when you're a hundred yards from the potty and you got the "soupy poopie" well its tough on anybody, let alone a little kid. That's how our first morning went, constant potty trips, but the trooper that he is, he had fun between those bouts. He caught his first large mouth bass! My oldest, she caught a 2 pound trout! A first for both of them. We went kite flying, hiking, saw the waterfalls, it was fun. We played mini golf, it was not fun, a disaster I must say. Filled with tantrums and poop. Little guy started with a fever by then but he didn't want to stop playing. We went for a relaxing walk by the river and the feeling hit him again, I snatched him up and high tailed it to the nearest potty, and as my little guy sat there and felt miserable, he looked up with his big blue eyes and said quite matter of factly, "Mommy, I guess the great outdoors just don't agree with me."

Then he asked me to take him home. I went and found hubby and broke the news, and I've really not seen him look so happy in a long time. OK, let's start packing up! and we did. Our very gracious friends who love to camp and love this campground were sad to see us go, but I think deep down a little relieved to have us on our way. I was cranky by them I'm sure. Didn't sleep well the night before, had NO Starbucks, and the local coffee brewed at my site didn't compare. By noon on Saturday I had looked at hubby and told him I'd give my left arm for a latte and room service. Knowing the state of affairs our friends suggested instead of eating lunch there, we go out to eat. THIS PLACE WAS HORRIBLE!!A BUFFET, I hate buffets, breeding ground for such a plethora of germs and bugs. Then there is the clientele, usually senior citizens who don't much care for noisy messy kids, or those buffet loving folks who love to, how shall i say it, GRAZE at these feeding frenzies and don't much care for tiny humans getting in their way at the troughs. It was institutional, it was very 'country' fare. Spoonbread, greens, candied ham and some beet concoction that had a gelatin look, but was a hot dish. Not what I normally eat, my kids didn't know what do to. They had fried chicken, well that stuff was flying out of the silver tray quickly, one of the people at my table ate an ENTIRE CHICKEN!!! Then asked the waitress if she minded taking away his 'boneyard', too much I tell ya. I had the salad bar only, and tried not to touch anything. Thought some protein might help and the woman at the counter said the stuff was tunafish, it WAS NOT, unless tuna suddenly turned into hard grey matter that has a grainy consistency with pebbles in it. It literally fell out of my mouth, I felt like a baby just letting it fall out, spittiing and then wiping my tongue off with a napkin, I usually grin and bear it, swallow and wash it down politely then stop eating, but I could not swallow it, NONONONONONONONONONONONONO! My son ate one slice of cucumber and quarter of a piece of chocolate cake, and a roll, dry. He then shit 4 times in the next hour.

I learned how to put a worm on a hook, I learned that when you catch a trout they aren't happy, as I was told, "they are a very delicate fish, they panic easily" well when they panic, they start spewing their eggs out, like a gusher of little eggs just spilling out all over the place, the sight of which makes most shudder. I never realized just how barbaric fishing is till this weekend. I learned that just because the brochure says something does NOT make it so. I learned that it takes all kinds to keep this world turning. Most people are very good at heart and want to help out a mother in distress. Kindness comes in the strangest forms some days. I learned that camping is a sport for some. Most campers I think just camp though so they aren't at home and won't have any chores to do, they like being out in the woods and just hanging out. Some people are not and never will be goal oriented, I am not one of those people and that's ok. I like having a direction, I like having things to do, to get done. I love my husband and my kids, they make me feel good. I now know you cannot flush regular toilet paper in a camper. "Air conditioning" is a very relative term. Beer can be an accessory (doesn't go well with my Coach bag, but who am I to judge). A campground is a true "melting pot" of society. If you've never been, you should go, try it out for sure.

I know what I like, room service, steam showers, spa treatments, good coffee, great food. If I'm paying for a vacation even just a weekend getaway, it has to have a few of these elements. No worms, dirt, bugs, miniturized dollhouse like toilets are a no-no for all of my future vacations. Lesson learned, moving on.

Lots of love to all of you in bloggy land!
-lil'sis

Are You a Slacker Mom?

My quiz results make me a Zen Mom

"How do you do it? Even when explosions are all around, you are able to take a deep cleansing breath and chant your mantra "this too shall pass." You are a calming influence on your kids in a hectic world. "

See how you do, the link is below, I'm not sure I'm as Zen as it says, but I was pleasantly surprised at my results.

wwww.areyouaslackermom.com

To all you HNT folks, I would if I could, have no idea how to put pics on and don't have time to learn today, in any event, you'd not get anything racy that's for sure, smooches to all of you daring soles willing to bare it for the day!

Lots of love,
lil'sis