Lipstick Cover-Up

Yesterday was Little Bean's birthday, my Isabel. She is precious, full of joy, happy and healthy. Our life has changed so much in the past year, husband retired, had our third child, family has changed, work has changed, but my children have GROWN. Holy cow how they've grown.

My oldest, Emily, now in 3rd grade has just come out of her shell. My shy girl, who still has her moments of shyness, is now a little lady. She tried out for a play *shocker* and got the part of Cindy-lou Who in "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and she'll add when you ask her is a "reader in the play" as well as her part. I'm so proud of her, she's come a long way baby! She loves her horseback riding, now she volunteers to clean the stables and do barn chores just so she can be there more.

My middle child, my son, Gabriel, he turned 7 in October. He's such a charmer, a joker, my funnyman, he has such peace about him, a very good soul he is. And usually too smart for me to handle. I'm so proud of him. He just got asked to apply to this gifted program at the University where we live, wowie zowie, he said, "Hey momma, I got this application today, we need to fill it out and bring it back to my teacher." I looked, it was very cool the program looks really interesting he had choice about what direction to take with it. He said, "so why did I get this?" I told him what the paperwork said, "selected" "interested in your child", yada yada, and he smiled and said, "Ha, so they think I'm smart, they're wrong, I'm a GENIUS" he says then erupts into laughter and walked back to play, he takes nothing too seriously as you can tell.

Then there is my little Beaner, Isabel, we call her Beanzie, or Beaner, I don't know why, we just do, that or Izzy. Her hair stands up on top unless I flatten it, she's taken to having it put into a little ponytail right on the top of her head, she's the female version of Alfalfa. All three of them look like the Gerber baby, honestly, they do, the cheeks, the big eyes, the curls of hair at the ears, but I think Izzy has the most. She has the brightest bluest eyes, we all tell her she's got some great eyeballs, she just bats her lashes and yells "GAHHHHH". Her brother and sister adore her and she them. She is the apple of daddy's eye and has him wrapped around her finger and she KNOWS it. Yes , I know you're saying, she's only 1, but you parents out there and you "Daddy's Little Girls" out there know what I'm talking about. She slays her daddy with a grin. Melts him with a giggle and breaks his heart when she's sick. She's mommy's little blessing, because, I'll say it, we didn't plan on more kids. We were too scared for more kids, and today I cannot say enough that I am so grateful for the fact that things didn't go according to plan.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was surprised, very excited, happy, and mostly scared out of my mind. My first two children as I've written here before, were both very sick. They had long term illnesses and conditions, the likes of which we deal with to this day, albeit not in crisis mode thankfully any longer. I would joke and say if I had a third it would have horns and a tail. In all honesty, I was just so frightened of having another sick baby, of it not going well, of that fear gripping us all over again. I was so scared. I told my husband and he said, "I'll call you back I have to go throw up" don't take that badly, it was just his fear, he called back and was in tears he was so happy but so very scared.

Isabel has been nothing we thought and everything we needed. For our family, our marriage, life in general. We feel complete with her, safe, secure, so very in love with eachother and our children. This healthy bundle of love, this pink vision of joy when she wakes and smiles and giggles.

I cannot thank God enough for this blessing. She has made me such a better person, and I feel also a better mother, I hope I have the stamina for this long journey with my kids. The way time flies I think I'll make it, I mean she's already a year old and if feels like it's gone so quickly. Time is speeding up on me and I want to treasure each second, and then life happens and things just go faster and faster. I pray that I'm doing the right things, making good choices for them. I'm still scared, each and every day, but I'm begining to think we all are in our own ways, it's the love that helps it along. Without that I'd be paralyzed.

So Little Bean, Mommy loves you so very much. Happy Birthday to you and many more! I'm looking forward to each little celebration along the way. Thank you so much for being you and for coming in and completing this family.